Believe it or not, I have never once had a New Years Resolutions. All the ones I have ever thought of are way too hard and I instantly scrap them before they are a fully formed thought. My most popular ones that seem to pop into my mind every single year are things like “I will exercise every single day”…. uh, yeah, right. Or maybe the ever popular “I will be kind to everyone, always, in all situations.” How do you think I’m fairing on that one? One year I thought that maybe I should pledge to learn how to cook. I had tried to learn as a teenager but that got scrapped by my parents after I made tacos for dinner one night (My parents aren’t fans) and I never cooked dinner there again. I got overwhelmed just thinking about learning how to cook and decided against that idea as well.
My point is, no matter what I decide to do, I decide to do it with all of my strength or none at all. Maybe some of you have the type of personality where once you set your mind to something nobody and nothing can stop you, but I don’t. I think what generally happens for me is that I see a need, evaluate whether or not I can fill it and then sort of hesitantly put a toe in it.
The first year I started cooking (The first year Matt and I were married) I made the same thing for dinner every single night. Boneless skinless chicken breast with some sort of McCormick’s flavor packet on it, salad and a canned vegetable or store bought bread. It was fine, but it never got too adventurous. Now, nearly 6 years later, I am finally starting to branch out and experiment with different flavors and using whole foods. It’s been a long journey, one that I’m not even near the middle of, but it’s a beautiful one as I’ve learned to show love through food and the time I spend preparing it.
I have always tried to be loving. I am not a gentle person by nature, but I remember when I decided that I wanted to be. At around 17 I remember seeing my sunday school teacher, Ms. Dayle, interact with all of us and noting how gentle she was. Her touch, her hugs, even her voice. This is a woman who I had grown up admiring and I just knew that the key to being a good woman was being gentle like her. Cut to me 10 years later and I still don’t have that deep gentleness that Ms. Dayle has so beautifully perfected, it’s so against my nature, but I have worked hard to discover how to be gentle in my speech and in confrontation with my brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s been a long time coming, and it has not been as easy path, but the days of yelling and pointing out every flaw and problem seem to be a thing of the past. I just couldn’t do it now, I love them too much. This also probably has a lot to do with the fact that I am a part of the most loving and spiritually healthy community I have ever encountered.
On to exercise. Yikes. Here’s the main reason that I do not make resolutions. (Deep Breath) I don’t want to be held accountable for things that are hard to change. I hate exercise. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. If you are one of those people who loves it and just want to get everyone involved I guarantee I have thought that you are crazy at some point. But that is no excuse to not take my health seriously. I have had 2 babies, 14 months a part, both over 11 pounds at birth in the last 2 years. My body has changed and while I feel no shame or embarrassment in those changes it is time for me to take control of my health and set a good example for my kids.
SO… (drum roll, please) for the month of January, I pledge to exercise at least 2 times every week. If I don’t do this, I will admit it and be accountable through this blog and also with my friends and husband. I will reevaluate this pledge in February and either renew it or increase it. I will take this on a month by month basis because I know that life changes. I currently have mono (all though I feel it is near the end), I could get pregnant (all though that is not our plan for 2012), or a myriad of other things. I am not going to make my goal about how much weight I lose or what size pants I fit into, but to commit myself to a healthy and balanced life.
So, there you have it. My first ever new years resolution! I hope yours are just as successful as mine will be!